


Easy Love (Is Hard to Find)

by WhereTheMoonShinesBright



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Non-Graphic Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 02:55:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereTheMoonShinesBright/pseuds/WhereTheMoonShinesBright
Summary: "Felix had become… happy, again… as well.Sylvain actually wasn’t sure if happy was the right wording. Felix was more receptive to other people’s emotions again, and more receptive to small affections, and more prone to smiling. In many ways, it wasn’t even close to being happy, but it was better."
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 59





	Easy Love (Is Hard to Find)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the song "Dream Boy" by Beach Bunny

The stress of having this dreadful, uncaring version of Dimitri had shattered Felix’s certainty apart. He had been right, of course, about Dimitri’s bloodlust. Felix was always right about these things. He could see who people were when you put them into focus. He always had been able to. And yet, perhaps it had been a bit too much. To be too suddenly too right. Perhaps Felix had been hoping Dimitri was still some salvageable thing, that they could become friends again against all odds. 

But Sylvain honestly wasn’t as good as reading other people. 

The only thing he was really good at was this: Taking the pieces of Felix that anyone, mostly Dimitri, had torn apart and helping him glue them back together. 

Felix sat astride his lap, damp hair clinging to his neck, his forehead, Sylvain’s forehead and lips. 

As in all things, Felix was not a gentle lover, but at least he was generous and straight-forward. Sylvain had to do very little as Felix’s hips canted above his.

It wasn’t fair, really. Even as Felix’s lips slid against Sylvain’s, he was still probably thinking of Dimitri. It scored around Sylvain’s heart, and twisted pettily in his stomach. He renewed his efforts at Felix’s neck, feeling his friend’s fingernails scrape down the backs of his arms. 

Felix was the only one, he felt, who would ever look at him willingly.

His father looked at him to avoid looking at Miklan. Dimitri had looked at him as a noble that needed to be kept in like for the sake of the kingdom. Even Ingrid had looked at him, asking him to not take his life so lightly at the behest of Felix’s _brother’s _memory.  
  
But Felix had always fallen into his arms, as if he’d felt Sylvain was somehow the only person who could bare holding him. 

And didn’t Sylvain want to believe that now? With Felix in his lap, molten eyes staring at him with some painful emotion that must be similar to hatred. 

And wouldn’t it be true? When they’d exhausted themselves and Felix fell against his chest, wouldn’t he hold him until the emotion subsided and Felix could go back to being strong, strong, _strong. _

—

They sat against the backboard of Sylvain’s bed at the monastery, still clothed even in their overcoats. It had gotten far too cold, at the end of the year, for even the fire magic that kept a small current through the halls to keep the dorms warm at night.

It had remained quiet like this since Duke Fraldarius had died— Since Felix had become the only living direct descendent to the Fraldarius line. Felix had been angry about Duke Rodrigue’s death. Angry with the late-duke, angry with Dimitri, and— even though he would never admit it to anyone aside from perhaps the professor, angry with himself. 

Felix had become… happy, again… as well. 

Sylvain actually wasn’t sure if happy was the right wording. Felix was more receptive to other people’s emotions again, and more receptive to small affections, and more prone to smiling. In many ways, it wasn’t even close to being happy, but it_ was_ better. 

He couldn’t feel the rubbery dyed-leather of Felix overcoat through the linen of his coat, which he was glad for. He hated the way it felt against his skin, and he hated the small barely there noises it made as Felix moved sometimes. Yet he also hated it, because it meant Felix was purposefully trying not to lean too much into him even as he began to doze.

And something about that made the pain crescendo all at once, wrapping around his lungs and digging into his stomach. 

He pressed his lips to Felix without any real hunger behind it, hoping Felix would punch him, or push him away.

Sylvain could tell, from experience, when he’d kissed someone who hadn’t want to be kissed. How they’d stiffen up, how they’d try to retract, how it pulled apologies from Sylvain regardless of how sincere they were.

But Felix’s lips were gentle against his, soft and accepting and thoughtless.

A gloved hand came to hold Sylvain’s cheek, and he held onto it. They had never kissed without the tension, without the sex; not since he was younger and would place over-dramatized kisses against Felix’s hair when he cried.

Felix kissed him back without the pretense, the gentle pressure melting into the wetness of his cheeks. 

And suddenly it didn’t hurt at all. 

Felix didn’t ask why he cried, just smoothed away the tears as his lungs unwound and the darkness pulled out of his stomach and spilled out his throat. 

And he fell into Felix’s arms, sure that they would break under his weight, and Felix would drop him.

But Felix never dropped him. Never let him go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's been a while! I promise I'm working on my chapter fics. I also have another one-shot for my Byleth/Linhardt series that's on the way. I've just been very busy. 
> 
> ALSO I wrote a fic without a graphic death in it? I'm shocked. Please be proud of me. 
> 
> If you'd like to talk to me about Fire Emblem or anything else you can find me at https://twitter.com/chinupking


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